jascat's Diaryland Diary

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ben a while but this ben going on...

Been a while since I’ve been here. Use to b so bizy when I actually had a life, so mayb I will make more time now.
I been single since almost the end of August ’06, and lets just say I’m about to go so crazy. I’m so afraid and I don’t know what to do so I will start venting here as I try and cope with everything.
A lot has been on my mind lately. I can’t stop thinking about my ex, among other things. I’m scared to move on but also I don’t want to move on cause I still love him so much. I’m at my wicks end. I’m filled with regret, hurt, pain, worry, anger, even sorrow.
I regret all my past judgements and what I did in the past to end or loose my past relationships.
Hurt over being lied to and for not being given a second chance with my ex.
Pain because I’m so alone and cant seem to move in the right direction.
Worry that I will forever be in this place I can’t make my way out of.
Angry at myself for getting myself in this spot. I want to move on because I will never be with him again. But I’m so afraid of moving on. I’m afraid of getting my heart broken or ruining another relationship.
I’m stuck in this place and just want to crawl into a tight little ball and just cry until my emptiness has faded away.

1:35 p.m. - 2007-01-09

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