jascat's Diaryland Diary

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What's ben up

I had mainly left because I felt I didn't have much of a life so I didn't really have much to share with others. But then I got back in touch with an old friend that got me into my journal and my diary here and I figured I'll try and give them a shot again and see if I can keep up with them both.
I just thought it would be hard considering I also have a blog on Myspace that I pay a lot of my attention to. I get more response to that and it saddens me for some odd reason when I don't get any response to my diary and journal. Call that childish if you'd like I don't care its just that I feel like not everyone likes me and I have a personality factor that makes people scared to talk to me or makes em scared to be a friend of mine.
I even was texting this guy since February who all of a sudden said that I had some kind of attitude that might be the reason why I don't have many friends. I had been thinking about that since he told me 5/27/07. I don't see it though and my other three text friends like how I am so maybe it's just a problem he had with me. Who knows.

I had my mom's old phone back in August or October and I went on some text chats I found out of magazines and stuff. I met some great friends and a great guy (you'll learn about later).
All was going good and then in December I couldn't text anymore cause I found out that after 120 days and a balance at $0, your account was gone. Lets just say I had a hard time not being able to talk to all of my friends and I had been in depression mode.
Then mom surprised me in February. She sent my brother to Wal-Mart to get me a phone and phone card for it as my Valentine's day gift. I soon got in touch with a lot of my old friends (sadly I'm only down to 3-5 now went I use to have in the teens or twenties.)
I had even made some new ones but only one of them stuck until the 27th when he started cursing at me and calling me names. I let him know our friendship was over and that he would never get it back. He had the nerve say he didn't care and was gone for a bit and then popped up and tried to apologize to me for what he had done.

March the first my great guy friend James (n Alaska) asked me to be his girlfriend. We are still together today and I can't wait for the 9th of June to get here so I can have him with me for 2 whole weeks.
I also have a great gurl-friend named Sara. She’s great.

Some of other things I have enjoyed are my trips to Louisiana with my mother and step-dad. I play on the slot machines and also watch the pretty gurl waitresses walk around and wish I had their looks. I'm jealous of their petite bodies and their grace as they prance around and take peoples orders for drinks.
I also enjoy being out of town and out of state doing something with my mom and she has a great time there as well. We have both been lucky a few times and I can't wait to go again next month before my guy's arrival here.

Last but not least, there is the thing about the so-called father I'm supposed to have.
What is up with how some guys think or how they sometimes don't listen?
I have told him time and again that if he makes a promise to come and see me, and he is not able to, to call me. Do you know that he doesn't show up AND he doesn't call?! I shouldn't have to text him or call him he is the parent not me.
It hurts me cause I don't deserve this treatment. I have not done anything to him to make him to wear he thinks I deserve this. It hurts me and it makes me sad.

Guess that is about it that has gone on here in my life.

1:12 p.m. - 2007-05-31

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